What Is It

Hypnagogic loops of craving, loneliness, and pain — anxious premonitions of the future laden with regrets about the past — infiltrate the minds and hearts of sad imaginary beings in a ghostly realm of clashing mirages and conflicted conceptual fabrications. Whatever seems to appear is accompanied by the long-lingering aromas of stressfulness and dissatisfaction.

There, individualized life-like illusions are continually attempting to confirm the reality of their existence by pursuing happiness and certainty through the acquisition and manipulation of various illusory objects. At any moment, one might stop and ask themselves: what good can ever come from the feverish efforts of fictional characters grasping at thin air?

No one can be happy in such a world. It is like an endlessly recurring nightmare: in a strange and dimly lit room of indeterminate dimensions, populated by hostile creatures that are more heard than clearly seen, you feel your way along a wall, sticky with some kind of oozing substance which you instinctively abhor.

You are attempting to find a door, but without success. It seems that there is something which you are trying to remember, something you know is vitally important, something that could make all the difference, but it maddeningly eludes you, despite your concerted intent. What is it?

Now you awaken in your bed, confused and damp all over. You realize it is still dark outside, and then drift back to a restless sleep. Once again you are in a strange and dimly lit room of indeterminate dimensions, populated by hostile creatures that are more heard than clearly seen, and you are feeling your way along a wall, sticky with some kind of oozing substance which you instinctively abhor.

You are attempting to find a door, but without success. It seems that there is something which you are trying to remember, something you know is vitally important, something that could make all the difference, but it maddeningly eludes you, despite your concerted intent. What is it?

All of this repeats itself again and again. Maybe for lifetimes, maybe for the lifetimes of whole galaxies, even though such luminous starry clusters revolve in a kind of perfection that pleases the majestic celestial beings, the size and quality of whom no human could even begin to comprehend.

When it seems to you that it is all completely hopeless, when you are finally exhausted and ready to give up, the room may begin to grow a little brighter. It will be almost imperceptible at first, but gradually you may notice that things have changed. The previous sense of toxicity which seemed to permeate everything has noticeably diminished.

You might realize, for example, that the hostile creatures are merely stones of various colors and textures. No, they are not really stones at all, they are moving things. Now you see that it is the room itself which is moving, and then all of the former stones begin leaving through a door, the door you could never find before.

You follow the curious stone-like creatures as they slowly maneuver themselves into another room of indeterminate dimensions. It is a bright and tidy room, and the stones are clearly not rocks at all, but one person. No, that person is not actually a person, it is a mirror. Really, there is no mirror; there is only this persistent sense of yourself.

Nevertheless, it is not yourself, because there is nobody here. There never has been, there never will be. It is quiet. At last, it is not even a room at all. There is no stone, no person, no mirror, no self. What is it? Perhaps all that can be said is simply this: it is quiet.

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About Bob OHearn

My name is Bob O'Hearn, and I live with my Beloved Mate, Mazie, in the foothills of the Northern California Sierra Nevada Mountains. I have several other sites you may enjoy: Photo Gallery: http://www.pbase.com/1heart Essays on the Conscious Process: http://theconsciousprocess.wordpress.com/ Poetry and Prosetry: https://feelingtoinfinity.wordpress.com/ Writings from selected Western Mystics, Classic and Modern: https://westernmystics.wordpress.com/ https://freetransliterations.wordpress.com/ Wisdom of a Spirit Guide: https://spiritguidesparrow.wordpress.com/ Thank You!
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