OK, I have to come clean. I have not been totally forthcoming about the nature of my prior nature. You see, I actually come from the same place where people go when their bodies die. However, because I lost a silly wager, I have been obligated to reverse the process for a few of what humans call “years”. Consequently, I am temporarily appearing in this realm, having a near-life experience — what the gang back home laughingly call an “NLE”.
Yes, when people die (or imagine they die), they eventually arrive at a placeless place where they encounter beings like the critter I used to be, before I became the “me” you now see. It’s the original omnidirectional non-local location, the same place everyone’s always been, though we often have a good laugh when your newly bodiless form materializes, all bewildered-like, invariably exclaiming that you “simply had no idea it would be like this!”
Of course you didn’t — how could you? You’ve been too busy believing this or that fabricated nonsense that somebody else (who also had no idea) dreamt up once upon a time to chill folks out so that they would at least continue to pay their taxes and donate generously to the myth of their choice, even while insisting on believing that they’re actually the fictional character they take themselves to be.
Mostly, humans are perpetually sleep-walking around in aimless herds. When not preoccupied by daydreams, they can often be heard complaining that they’re some kind of complex problem that needs to be resolved through the accumulation of more stuff, or even by the elimination of others who are trying to get their accumulated stuff, all the while devising endless ways to conflict themselves with insidious emotional/sexual knots that merely compound their general cognitive/feeling dissonance.
Many are even hoping that, if they could only put together the right combination of concepts and syllables, or swoon at the feet of Dorje Porje, or successfully petition the Great Hoo Haw, or make a pilgrimage to Duluth where some paint stain on a warehouse wall happens to approximate the imagined facsimile of St. Gadzooks, or tie their legs into pretzel shapes and chant 84,000 “Lord Have Mercies”, they might ascend to some “higher truth”, as if Truth had any direction! Hmmmm. . . .
At any rate, I lost a bet and so here I am, having a near-life experience, and I must say that you are such dear folks at heart — Really – but, just a tip, OK – Relax! It’s all going to be perfectly painless — you won’t remember a thing!